Seasons Greetings!
It's me! Billy Blanks! The black guy you associate with Tae-Bo - the all around best cardiovascular workout you can get in 30 minutes! Actually, I'm the black guy you associated with Tae-Bo. It seems that some of you have been duped by this Zumba nonsense.
Don't forget: Tae-Bo is the combination of Tae Kwon Do and Boxing. Zumba is the combination of weak-wills and Jazzercise. Let's see - what's going to help you more if you're getting mugged? Some of my patented Tae-Bo moves or some whorish-Salsa dancing? This is why Tae-Bo is still a solid gift to give this time of year. Most of my videos have been adapted to dvds and my IT buddy Luke is working on the iPod app.
I know what you're thinking. "Tae-Bo is soooo 1998. This is 2012, Billy!" Tae Kwon Do has been around for as long as there have been Asians and boxing for as long as there have been Irish. My workout has deep cultural roots, unlike Zumba which is very Latino-centric.
"But Billy! Zumba contributes to charities like the Susan G. Komen Foundation!" Forget all that. A portion of my profits are going to Syria. My PR lady, Monica, is working out the specifics.
So have a Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, or whatever gets your blood pumping (like my videos).
Billy Blanks
Tae-Bo CEO
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