I Am a Poor-man's Poor-man

by Hobo Tony
Hobo

First off, let me just tell you "God bless you." Secondmost, let me just say that I got five kids and a sick wife sitting in a car just around the corner there. We just got in from Anchorage, Georgia and our car is broke, two of my kids got sick, and one are retarded. My wife has cancer in her toe and I've only got enough money to purchase a can of Spaghetti-o's. If you could spare any change, I would appreciate it so much.

Look man, I ain't tryin' to hustle you or nothin'. I love the Lord. But the workers over at that Popeye's Chicken by the bus-stop do not love me, because I was stealing ketchup packets and asking folks for change. So if you could find it in your heart to help me out with my four kids, I know it would make the Lord happy.

You see this scab on my elbow? I got that when I asked a fella at the museum if I could use the toilet. He called a colored security fella over and he apparently did not have time to help me and my seven children I got in the Geo Prism just around the corner there. You can't see it from here.

Anything you can spare will be appreciated. Well, not anything. Some young fella earlier handed me a prophylactic which I ain't got no use for. Me and my nine kids can't eat that.

What? You'll say a prayer for me later?

Excuse me, man. First off, let me just tell you "God bless you." Secondmost...