Sunday, August 5, 2007

Why Can't Pretty Wrapping Paper Be Enough Of a Gift?

by Thelma Cortlandt
octogenarian

It's so good to see you! I haven't seen you since the last holiday/birthday/ and/or funeral! I'm sorry I yelled through my door "Who is it," but I saw a sinister looking Mexican man walking around the neighborhood earlier today. Can I get you some sugar-free, caffeine-free, colorless Diet Pepsi?

You know, there's a lot of thing I just don't get about this world. VCRs. Most telephones. Mr. Drew Carey. But one thing that always makes me happy is pretty wrapping paper. Reminds me of the good old days when it was the thought that mattered, not the gift. And that whatever the thought was, it was wrapped up in paper featuring a warm set of colors and realistic paintings of dogs and/or cats in playful poses.

I would be good at thinking up designs. It seems so many of them are thought up by computers. All flashy and symmetrical and precise. Who wants to look at a series of lines with varying length when you can enjoy the moment captured as two puppies tussle over a candy cane? Or a cat nibbling on Santa's cookies! My, oh my! I better slow down, lest all this giggling gives me another stroke.

There are two things I can't stand regarding wrapping paper. One, is how everyone just quickly rips it open and throws it on the floor. Seems like such a waste. The other is how tacky some of the wrapping paper has gotten these days. With the exception of Charlie Brown and his friends, I can't think of one cartoon character who deserves to be immortalized on the wrapping paper. No wonder people are so hasty to discard it when it's featuring that obnoxious Bart Simpson character or that Sponge-looking thing with the big Jew nose.

In my day the wrapping paper was such a special part of the gift. No matter how precious the gift was: A shawl, a thimble set, or a Polio vaccine. Folks cared about the wrapping. Times were just simpler I guess. You didn't have all these fancy (sic) toilets that flush themselves. No sir. You had to make sure all the other faucets in the house were off and move the lever and fiddle with the thing on the inside when you heard it running and the commode was full.

Simpler times.