Saw a dead dog on the side of the street. I'm not a dog-lover, so it doesn't bring a tear to my eye. But it did get me thinking: Do dogs commit suicide? Did this particular dog approach the curb of the feeder, thinking:
"My life is shit. I've got no home. I've got mange. My bitch done left me. I'm tired of eating the hardened cheese out of discarded pizza boxes. This time I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna end it all, man. Shit, it's a Nissan Maxima, let me wait for something bigger. A Tahoe, or something like that."
Do his dog friends stand at a distance and watch?
"Oh, look. Gary's going to attempt suicide. Again."
"You think he'll go through with it this time?"
"Probably not. He's too scared to even chase after the Jehovah Witnesses."
"He hasn't been the same since Emily left him."
"Did you do her?"
"Totally. You?"
"Twice."
"Nice."
"Oh, look! He's gonna do it!
(tires screeching - thud)
"Darn it. He just got nipped."
"That's lame. Why did he choose a Yaris?"
"Who knows."
"Wanna go see what Emily's up to?"
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