How To Create A Post That Will Change People's Deeply Held Beliefs

First, thank you.  Thank you for choosing to invest your time and talents into composing a digital creation that will force people to confront controversy on issues they wouldn't even discuss with their friends.  This takes balls and you, sir or ma'am, have them.  You have several options in which you can put something out there that will be a glib representation of a complicated issue.

1. Post Comment
The easiest and least risky way to express your thoughts on someone else's post.  Don't be afraid to let your opinion fly.  You're never going to see these people so judge them the best you can by their avatar and/or user name and previous comments. Feel free to use special characters in lieu of vulgarities.  Some sites will filter the four-letter words out.  Internet censorship, right?  Be careful because it could be Obama's Secret Internet Police or Big Pharmaceutical Companies.  Periodically check back to see if other readers have approved or disapproved your comment.  And by periodically I mean every 15 minutes.  It may be necessary to edit it to make it more inflammatory. (Note: Google Chrome loads archived comments faster than Internet Explorer)

2. IMHO
This is the thinking man's meme.  A short paragraph where you offer some trenchant insight on an issue.  Don't worry if you heard it somewhere else like Sean Hannity, Stephen Colbert or Larry Wilmore.  If you couch it in the right verbiage you can pass it off as your own.  Simply start with "IMHO..." and then continue attempting to explain your opinion on gun control, abortion or gay weddings.  Remember, the main goal is to bait the opposition into posting replies that will inevitably devolve into four or five other issues by the 20th comment.  Try not to think how one click can delete the whole thread, rendering the entire exchange about as pointless as a 20-something's resume.

3. The meme
Clearly the most popular and most effective.  There are many photos out there to choose from.  There are traditional photos of Gene Wilder's Willy Wonka smirking, art deco designs of catty women from the 50's, and don't forget:  Black people.  You might want something more original and you may even have to get creative and do some photoshopping, especially if you can't find an actual photo of a Muslim woman yelling in a bakery.  After you have the photo, you'll want a catchy sentence that embodies a straw-man argument, a slippery-slope argument, or any of the accepted logical fallacies.  White text, all caps is the current aesthetic, but don't be confined by it.  But know that people use it because it's easy for people who read at a 9th grade level to comprehend.  Position the first part of the phrase at the top of the photo and then the second part at the bottom for optimum impact.  Proofread (unless the misspelling is intentional to poke fun at certain ethnicities).

A Word About 'Trolls'
So you may have encountered comments that really stand out in a thread.  You can tell them apart from the others because they usually have correct spelling, credible evidence and read like someone who went to college.  These individuals aren't truly interested in changing minds, they're just trying to crash your party.  Ignore them.  Resist the temptation to engage them because they'll just keep coming with the grad-school talk.  Assume they listen to a lot of NPR or read the National Review. These people don't know how the real world works, they just sit in their little bubble typing away and ruining perfectly transcendent posts.

Whichever one of these you choose, you can be sure that someone who believes differently than you will give some serious thought to changing their deeply held convictions because of something you created.  Ten people might see it and nine of those people will just sneer and click onto something else, like McSweeney's or The Federalist.  But that one person sitting there in a t-shirt with tamale stains and mismatched socks will be persuaded by your post about a Muslim takeover to go out and stock up on canned goods and ammo.  Remember, every time a post changes a heart, a Syrian refugee finds a home.  Or gets deported.  Whatever floats your boat.